Recently, I led a parenting workshop and when I asked for the parents’ biggest takeaways, I thought the answers were worth sharing with you. These parenting tips are coming from a book called, “Values Grounded Parenting” by Michael Redivo. This book is a great resource if you are seeking more information on parenting.
Develop a Shared Vision as Parents (Whether Living in the same household or not)
What is your spiritual goal for your family? As a Catholic parent, I want my children to get to Heaven. How do we as parents participate in that goal? We want to create family virtues and values that our children can follow, and we lead by example. Every family needs a road map to follow based on what is most important to your family. You could start by identifying a few virtues and values that you want to teach your children. How did you learn basic virtues and values when you were growing up? What would you teach the same way? What would you like to teach differently? What resources could you use to teach your children the difference between right and wrong?
Practice the 4 C’s
Practicing the 4 C’s can help set expectations in your family, keep parents calm and consistent, and help children have the structure they need to better listen to their parents.
Consistency - It is important for children to know what to expect. Most children thrive in a structured environment where they know your expectations and they know what is happening next.
Competency - Praise your children on how they are growing in competency. For example, “you did really well putting the silverware away correctly” (even when everything else was thrown in the cabinet). Focus on the things they are doing correctly and then you can expand on teaching them how to be competent in other areas.
Clarity - Be clear about your expectations. Clear communication is important with your children. If your expectations are too high and/or your children cannot understand your directions, misunderstandings and frustrations can escalate.
Calmness - Give yourself permission to take a breather before reacting to something your child has done. Some parents might count to 10 or find another method that works for them. Just like our kiddos need a time out, sometimes we do too. If your children see you think before you react, they will model that behavior.
As parents, we need to accept that we are not perfect and that we too make mistakes - we do not have this parenting thing all figured out. In front of your children, take responsibility for the mistake you made, say, “I am sorry,” and share how you will do things differently next time. Modeling a good apology can go a long way in forming your children to be humble individuals.
Are you struggling with parenting in a tech world? Read my blog post that discusses some of the challenges that come with mobile devices: Parents: Texting Etiquette 101
If you are feeling overwhelmed in parenting or you know your kid is struggling and they need some support - Contact Me
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